If I Knew Then What I Know Now

It’s less than two weeks from the release of my first book Clandestine

I’m so excited, nervous, scared and happy, all rolled into one overcrowded package. There are so many emotions running through my head that I am not completely sure what to do with them all. This has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember and it’s finally becoming a reality.

When I first became blind I never would have imagined I would have been an author. It’s not that blind people can’t write, because obviously they can. It’s just that I was in such a different place back then mentally, that I thought anything I desired was unattainable. I was so bitter, angry and negative that I truly thought I’d never accomplish anything bigger than making a sandwich.

Looking back on that version of me, I think… wow, what the hell was I thinking? When something in life happens to you that alters life as you thought you know it, the road can seem treacherous. I was such a Debbie Downer back then and I wish my present day self could have had a heart to heart with the me of the past.

I would have said” Guess what, your life isn’t that bad. You still have your health and people who love you. You still have all of your other senses. Yes this is hard. It’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever go through, but it’s not the end of the world!”

Then because the me of the past wasn’t an agreeable person, she would have said, “Bite me.”

I still have my bad days when it come to my vision, or lack there of. The difference is that now I have learned to cope and accept the things about myself that I can’t change. Being blind has taught me so many things that I wouldn’t have otherwise learned and I’m eternally grateful for that.

If I had it to do over again, would I choose to have never gone blind? Honestly, I have no idea. The bigger part of me is screaming DUH!! OF COURSE YOU WOULD CHOOSE NOT TO BE BLIND!! The smaller part knows that if I hadn’t gone blind then several things that I’ve accomplished might not have happened.

For instance, I would have never started my blog Playing The Blind Card I may have also given up on the path of writing for a different career. Would I have been as happy as I am now? I don’t know.

I have been written about in the newspaper twice. I’ve gotten the opportunity to have a guide dog and meet several amazing people at the school where I met her.

I get the opportunity to appreciate the sound of my children’s laughter way more. Granted, the flip side of that is that I also get the ear splitting pleasure of listening to them fight and argue with me, but still.

I’ve always loved the expression “Go big, or go home”. It’s finally happening to me where I get to officially say “I’m going big!” Clandestine will be the first of many books to come. It is the first book in the Bound In Blood series. It’s a great Young Adult Paranormal read. I love it because it has the suspense of vampires that people love, but also has a humoring banter that will hopefully keep you laughing. It’s dark, but has a deeper message and it truly is a coming of age, rite of passage kind of story. People of all ages will love it and I hope you will all give it a go.

In the beginning, it will only be available online but hopefully soon you will find it in book store shelves everywhere. If you have a book store near you, request it. The more people that do will help get it on the shelves.

Once I have the exact book page links from the websites where it will be sold, I will post them here. So be sure to keep checking back!